Im not sure how true or accurate statistics are but if this is anywhere close to being true (which I think it is) than its REALLY sad and scary in some ways. I know having an eating disorder, personally, is a living hell inside my mind every. single. day. And disordered eating does lead to eating disorders at times..So if 3/4 or 75% of women in America have disordered eating where does that put our population with risks of women having an eating disorder? I know from being in treatment that women develop eating disorders at 50 years old..Many people think its a “young people” problem but its not..It is just more obvious in young people because they live with their parents and probably end up getting more help than someone older who lives on their own…
This is the way I feel. Completely hopeless and frustrated. I make myself a bagel and sit in front of it for 30 minutes before throwing it out..I wanted to eat it so badly but inside of me the war was going on “if you eat that you know you will feel awful and fat and disgusting. You already ate enough these past few days” but the other half “you know you need to eat. You need food to recover and to help other people and stay out of treatment” the problem is as much as I would like to listen to the latter voice the first one is way too loud to even consider it. I feel guilty that I threw out the food because I hate wasting things..I’m not even sure if I WANT to recover yet..I mean yes I would love to be a successful person in life but somehow I am able to trick myself into buying ED’s lie that I can still live a normally life even if I’m not eating enough to be considered a “sustainable amount”..I get so frustrated with myself because I cant stop believing that yet I KNOW in my logical head that it isn’t true! Oh the frustration that constantly runs in my head…
